Also on the schedule would be shower, laundry, sending notes to those on my heart - last night I dreamt I saw a grieving friend and hugged her so tight while telling her I loved her. She cried. A lot. It is so hard to choose what to say or do for someone who is grieving, but doing nothing seems a terrible choice. As I over-analyze writing a note, sending a card, texting (which I deem not enough "effort" since it is instantaneous, even though choosing the words is daunting), I effortlessly valuate the outcomes -- Will she scoff that it took so long? Would a text seem like the easy/lazy outreach? Will my words seem flat or invoke tears or laughter? Why does the outcome bear so much significance? If I act according to my heart, my actions are authentic and I am TRUSTing and OBEYing. The rest is beyond my power regardless of how long I analyze it and believing it IS in my power is a self-absorbed, meddling, manipulative, inward focused. What is the alternative to doing the next right thing??
- Perpetual analysis - rooted in fear and control
- Do the wrong thing - make excuses, lie, cover up/hide true intentions, mislead
- Excessively contemplate
- Do something else instead - procrastinate
- Do it slowly - Delegate, Postpone/reschedule
Doing the next right thing and surrendering the outcome can cause short-term conflict, discomfort, angst; it can also result in poisonous roots being loosened, dislodged, cut off.
Entanglements (which are fortified by self-absorbed, meddling, manipulative, inward focus) can pull tight against wise choices - and it can physically hurt. A tightening in the chest is a visceral reminder of such entanglements and makes it hard and scary to go against them. Or perhaps this sensation actually serves as a guidepost that I am heading in the right direction?
Each tough, obediently surrendered action, may be key to purpose and freedom. A re-calibration of how free "feels" when focusing above the... (or beyond the...) hmmm. Where does my focus need to be?
If I am doing the next right thing, I suppose I am focused on that [right] thing - but focus and fixation differ.
I ought not focus on the outcome - as that may interfere - but don't some potential outcomes motivate? Which ones? When do they impede? What is the "why" that matters? Just do it; why?
What measure determines this is enough? It is enough when it is the next right thing... my "yield to the Spirit" thing?
And how do I reliably discern this yielding?
When I am plugged in, the probability increases.
And with each surrendered action, the frequency is strengthened - broadcast more clearly through trust, obedience, action, surrender, trust, obedience, action, surrender.
The tension in the chest is relieved through obedience. This is where "just do it" - anyway | in spite of | because it is the right thing | because it is worth it | because I trust | because it is most wise | because I said I would. ...And in that moment, the focus is on action, completion; and nothing else matters. It is the moment of surrender.
Allow the interference of God to change the outcome.
